You Are Not Your Thoughts - Rewriting the Stories That Shape Your Reality

In my last post, I wrote about pain — and how suffering begins not with pain itself, but with our identification with it. When we learn to witness pain instead of becoming it, something shifts.

The same is true with our thoughts. We are not our thoughts. Yet most of us live as if we are.

Early Conditioning

I grew up in a Chinese household in a Caucasian environment in the eighties. From an early age, I learned what it meant to be “different.” The unspoken rule was clear: fit in, adapt, prove yourself — and maybe you’ll belong.

This conditioning planted seeds that grew into the voice of my inner critic:

• “You don’t belong anywhere.”

• “Hide your cultural heritage; it’s safer to blend in.”

• “Work harder than everyone else to prove you’re enough.”

On the outside, I succeeded. But on the inside, a quieter story kept repeating: “You’re not good enough.”

And this is the truth for so many of us, if not all of us. From the moment we are born, we inherit conditioning — from family, school, friends, culture, and society. Much of it is well-intended: how we should behave, what success means, how to be a good person. But often it is also a projection of the fears and unfulfilled desires of those around us — parents, teachers, communities — passed on as though they were our own. Over time, these messages sink into the subconscious and run on autopilot, convincing us they are absolute truth.

The Ego’s Grip

Society glorifies the mind. Rational thinking is rewarded. Mental capacity is celebrated as the mark of intelligence. Meanwhile, our intuitive and somatic abilities — the wisdom of heart and body — are neglected.

Einstein put it beautifully: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

He was a very intuitive man, contrary to what many may think of a scientist.

When the ego hijacks the mind, the “monkey mind” runs wild. We get trapped in stories like:

• “I am not capable”

• “Look at the others, I need to achieve more”

• “I’m not a good parent”

• “I am too scared to make the change”

• “I am depleted and weak”

Each time these thoughts repeat, the neural pathways strengthen. The more often we think them, the more real they feel — until they shape our reality itself.

But the real challenge is not the thoughts themselves — it’s our identification with them. Most of the time, we’re not even conscious of this process. Thoughts drift through our mind and, without awareness, they quietly steer us in a certain direction — pulling us into stories that shape our mood, our energy, and our sense of self. Over time, this becomes a default program, that lowers our emotional vibration and leaves us restless, anxious, or depleted.

But the moment we bring our awareness to our thoughts, something shifts. When we observe thoughts as just thoughts — like clouds passing through the sky — we realize we have a choice. In that space, we discover choice: to let them pass, or to choose a thought that uplifts and empowers instead of entertaining the old, limiting story. And with that choice, we begin to shift our energy, our mood, and ultimately our life.

Reframing the Story — And Listening to the Body

What if instead of “I am not capable”, you chose: “I am learning and growing from this experience”. Instead of “I’m too scared”, you said: “I feel fear, but I am willing to do it anyway”. Instead of “I’m not a good parent”, you reframed: “I am growing alongside my children, one day at a time". Instead of “I am depleted and weak”, you tell yourself: “I am replenishing my strength day by day”.

This isn’t wishful thinking or denial — it’s a conscious choice to direct your energy differently, to see the same reality through an empowering lens rather than a limiting one. And it makes a difference because every thought carries energy. The words we repeat shape our emotions, influence our nervous system, and even affect how our body feels.

When we shift from disempowering to empowering thoughts, our vibration rises. We feel lighter, more open, and more resourceful — and that changes the actions we take, which in turn changes our reality. 

And it’s not just the mind that guides us here. Our body also speaks.

The body whispers first — a subtle tension, a sense of unease, a gut feeling. When we ignore those whispers, they grow louder. Headaches. Fatigue. Anxiety. Burnout. Eventually, the body shuts us down completely to make us listen.

When we are disconnected from our heart and intuition, and run mostly on the engine of the mind, we create exhausting loops. We push, strive, and overthink — but if our actions aren’t aligned with the heart’s desire, the energy leaks out of us. That’s why so many people feel tired even when they are “doing everything right.”

The invitation is to tune into the body as well as the mind. With time, as we grow more sensitive, intuition becomes stronger. The more we honor those signals, the more our life aligns with truth.

A Client’s Shift

I once worked with a client who came to me feeling restless and stuck in a loop of “What’s next?” On paper, she had it all — a strong career, recognition, and achievements that most would admire. But inside, there was a feeling of "not there yet". Every time she reached one milestone, her mind immediately chased the next. Despite her success, she felt lost — like she was running a race with no finish line.

Together, we explored what’s underneath that constant feeling of restlessness.  Through our work, she began to notice how her body was always in a state of tension — her nervous system constantly on overdrive. By slowing down, listening to her body’s signals, and reframing her inner dialogue, she discovered that rest doesn’t mean failure. It means alignment.

When she allowed herself to pause and reconnect with her heart’s desire — not society’s definition of success — the restlessness softened. She began to feel at home in herself, not just in her achievements.

Beyond the Mind – Energy Healing

Of course, sometimes reframing alone isn’t enough. Limiting beliefs and trauma can be so deeply wired that they live in the body like invisible scars.

That’s why I’m deeply grateful that Theta Healing came into my life. I had been searching for a practice that could pierce through subconscious beliefs — not by years of talk therapy or reliving trauma, but by working directly with energy.

One client came to me stuck in a lifelong pattern: freezing in conflict situations, unable to speak up for himself. Together, we uncovered a deep childhood trauma buried in his subconscious. Through Theta Healing, the imprint was released instantly. He felt lighter, freer — as if the weight of years had dissolved in a single session. And he immediately noticed the difference in the way he showed up.

The body keeps the score. Everything we experience is stored in our body, like a computer’s hard drive — not just mentally, but somatically. Energy healing allows those hidden files to be released, layer by layer.

The Invitation

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to wait for years of practice or the perfect moment to begin. You can start today — by becoming aware of your thoughts, listening to your body, and choosing which beliefs to energize.

Science confirms what wisdom traditions have always known: thoughts and words carry frequency. When you repeat a thought, you amplify it. When you honor your body’s signals, you strengthen your intuition. When you choose empowering words, you change your energy, your feelings, and your actions.

This isn’t “woo-woo.” It’s awareness in action.

Closing Reflection

So ask yourself:

👉 What story have I been repeating that no longer serves me?

👉 What signals has my body been giving me that I’ve been ignoring?

👉 And what new story would I like to begin telling instead?

Because when you change your thoughts and reconnect to your body, you change your story. And when you change your story, you change your reality.

🌿 In my coaching program, I dive much deeper into this work — helping people recognize limiting beliefs, reconnect with their heart and intuition, and create lives aligned with their authentic truth. If this resonates with you, you’re warmly invited to explore it further.

And in the next blog, we’ll take this even further: exploring how thought and energy together shape the reality we live in — and how awareness becomes the key to transformation.

From my heart to yours,

Cho